Opening Statement

By posting sufficient entries, the real and fictional episodes of my singular life will not be lost in bowels of the ominous memory-loss machine; instead, they'll find a home in my little radioactive garden, a place where any form of literature can morph and mature without fear of being eaten by the cruel critics that live in the untamed hill-country west of civilization. In my patch of carefully cultivated agriculture, contemplating life is strangely easy. While political, economical, and sexual issues will recieve necessary attention in this blog, other topics, such as food poisoning, film trivia, and narcissism will also be spotlighted and exposed.

However, I'm getting ahead of myself. My name is Mr. Moonpepper, and I live with a spoiled poison-arrow frog named King Alfred III, whose skin is blue and favorite pastime is playing a British version of charades. My past is haunting and ancient, so I'd prefer not to discuss it. I've lived in an abandoned sewer system for as long as I can remember, and I enjoy it because it's spacious, private, and a bit thrilling! Just last week, King Alfred III discovered a human skeleton in one of the eastern tunnels. I was scared at first, but then the frog suggested filming an episode of "Queer Eye for the Dead Guy," which consisted of rubbing mousse into the patch of hair that was still attached to the departed fellow's cranium. King Alfred III was pushing for a frohawk but I leaned more towards a comb-over to the left, as it complimented his earnest grin. But, just as King Alfred III started saying something about a manicure, a funny feeling grabbed me in my gut and I realized that our newfound entertainment was borderline macabre. So we left him to rot alone.

Anyways, I've just realized that I have a tremendous craving for watermelon, so I'm going to cut this post a little short. Be sure to stay updated on my daily adventures, as something mildy exciting could happen at anytime. Welcome to the Radioactive Garden!

P.S. Don't aggravate the turnips, for they have a tendency to tell lewd jokes when provoked.